My Moronic Microsoft Malaise: 'Two Outta Three Ain't Good'

Introduction
This fable is a true story. When it will end I can't say. Enjoy, but I hope it does not happen to you. If it does, I hope the outcome is better than mine. I will provide some suggestions at the end, based on my experience.  

The Issue
Right before Christmas I received an email from Microsoft (MS from now on). It said that they had examined my Outlook email account (agua@xxxxxxxx) which I have had for years. They claimed: 'We think someone else might have accessed the MS account 'agua@xxxxxxx' and then explained that I would have to verify my identity and then get a new password and that I would have to recover my account.

I must note that I am not filled with confidence when I hear someone say things like 'We think' or 'someone might have'.  

Communications
In any case MS advised me to recover my account if I had not already done so. then MS displayed a blue button 'Recover account' and said they would be glad to help me. I was unable to reply to/forward the email message to ask for more information. I learned that MS does not want you to contact them via email so easily, if at all. It did sound like a simple task. That was about 10 days ago.  

My task was to provide three pieces of information to prove my identity. Simple enough, right? MS wanted things like mobile phone number, user name and password. The first two were pieces of cake, but my account did not have a password. Why not? When I clicked on the Outlook logo, my email account open, ready to go.

So I was directed to 'speak' (not really) with an MS employee in a 'chat room'. I could 'write' to the employee while s/he 'spoke' with others in the queue. It took about  15 minutes to reach me, then we 'spoke' by writing to each other in a miniscule 8-point font I could barely read. I followed his instructions: enter a password (no luck), phone number (okay), user name (okay). This was then supposed to generate a 'code' that would be sent to another one of email accounts (aqua@xxxxxx) for me to retrieve and then use it somehow to 'release' my entrapped account. I tried this several times over the next few days, sometimes waiting in a queue of 70 minutes with 40 people ahead of me. I the tried to create an Outlook email account with a password. That did not work. Neither did the MS Community. 

Let me say that the aforementioned two paragraphs are a bit fuzzy but I am doing the best I can to recall the procedure. At no time did I encounter someone with whom I could speak or email directly.   

The last time I tried this approach I was told that the code would be sent to agua@xxxxxxxx. WAIT A MINUTE! WTF? THAT'S MY BLOCKED ACCOUNT!. At this point I decided to call it a day (more like two weeks). What I succeeded in doing was not much, although I did succeed in rendering my oregonstate.edu account unusable. Thanks MS!

BTW - what's with the 'Two Outta Three Ain't Good'? That's a riff on the Meat Loaf song 'Two Outta Three Ain't Bad'. I had just two items that were good - username, cell number.

Suggestions
I have been emailing for 30 years without incident. I am by no means an expert. I get by. The quarantined account is my favorite and most valuable. Its loss is causing me real problems.

Here are my suggestions.    

1) Provide more detail on the problem and allow the notification email to be forwarded and able to be replied to the MS sender (who should be identified) or others..

2) Allow other forms of identification to be used to prove valid ID, e.g., Real ID, Trusted Traveler, Passport.

3) Avoid suggesting techniques that might endanger functionality of non-MS email  

4) Allow phone email/conversations with MS personnel  

5) Improve the 'chat room' experience. Larger font would be appropriate.

6) Is there room for AI?

7) Please recover my account for me. You can contact me by posting a reply to this blog post.

Thank you for your indulgence!

Suggestions/commemts welcomed!

        

"Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. - Clifford Stoll

Comments

[Matt H]

I am sorry to say it sounds like you have been scammed. A service provider would never ask for your password like that.